"Fake it" until you get your shit together

We all feel like a mess every once in a while, and that is usually a part of a chain reaction. Maybe you aren’t satisfied with your grads although you work very hard, and suddenly the smallest thing seems like the end of the world. And because you’re constantly in such a hurry, you tend to give less priority to everything from tidying up, to just feeling like you. We’re all hot messes sometimes. However, a key to feeling less overwhelmed, is to make sure to be in control of certain aspects of your life, although they might feel insignificant. This way, hindering the chain reaction. When we experience stressful periods or have quite a few bad habits to kill, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of not prioritizing things like changing the bed sheets and making a home cooked meal. But these are the things that can actually help you feel like you’ve got your shit together, even if you don’t. So here are a few tips on how to feign your life is together, until it becomes a reality.

💮Homecooked.

Put on your favorite 80’s tunes or a true crime podcast - whatever you may fancy, and cook yourself a meal. It’s up to you how often, but try to create a routine. And don’t even care if you overcook the pasta. Have the confidence of that cocky Masterchef contestant that you despise every season. Did your sauce break? Well, maybe you’re just experimenting with deconstructed food?;) The point is to make it from scratch and take charge of your life, even if that means simply cooking the same tika masala every Sunday afternoon.

💮Stay fresh.

Fresh sheets, fresh sheets! Let’s say it one more time for the ones in the back: FRESH SHEETS. Laundry may feel like a burden, but slipping into a set of clean, crisp, white covers are without a doubt, one of the best feelings in the world. You might have a massive student loan on your shoulders or are struggling to make it as a writer - but at least you have a comfy bed, right? The same goes for your body too. Take care of it! Say what you want about skin-care being overrated, but knowing what’s right and wrong for your skin and hair - means that instead of being daily annoyed over irritated skin and split ends, you can feel good knowing that you’re taking steps in order to make it shine. I’m not saying that you should find an expensive skin care regime, where you get your self a 24k gold face mask and exfoliate every day, I’m just saying that spending a minute taking off your makeup before you go to bed (although you might be so, so tired) and keeping your nails maintained (although you may not like the sound of your nail file), can make you feel better about yourself. At least you’ve accomplished that, you know?

💮Find a signature.

Want to smell like a glazed donut, cinnamon bun or raspberry sorbet? Find a bottle of perfume or lotion wich you adore and stick to it. Being consistent can make you feel like you’re in control. It doesn’t have to be a certain smell. It can be a necklace that you wear every day or you’re trusted docs. Find something that makes you feel like yourself while wearing it - and each time you put it on, you’ll feel like you’re putting on a piece of yourself.

💮the bad day “Pick me up guide”.

Make a “bad day plan”. For days where you’re feeling blue, fetch your list and pretend you’re having a great day. Don’t neglect your emotions, but try to form a routine that will make it better, even if that’s only a little bit better. You may feel blue, but you’ve got a plan! It can look something like this:

  • Put on face mask.

  • Take a shower.

  • Make pasta with spinach and grandma’s tomato sauce.

  • Call Nora.

  • Listen to all those sad songs by Bon Iver & Edith Piaf. Then, listen to Pulp.

  • Go for a walk or see a new art exhibition, depending on the degree of “blueness”.

💮Focus.

Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, especially as a consequence of our high-paced society. The constant notifications that reminds us of what we have to get done, who we wish to be and what’s wrong in this world. We’ve become masters at multitasking. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to stay focused for a while, in order to stay grounded. You don’t have to delete all your social media channels. But maybe you should try to turn off your phone (yes, really turn it off) for an hour a day and solely focus on something of your choice - homework, doing your makeup, meditate - you name it.

💮Stay updated.

Staying updated on art and politics will most certainly make you feel like you’ve got your shit together. But it’s impossible to stay up to date on it all. Therefore, it’s important to find out what you prefer. Check out @melkoghonning during your lunch break if you wish to stay updated on fashion, or read Time magazine in print once a week if you want to get a summary of the news of the week.

💮Treat yo’ self.

Very cliché, I know. But really, you deserve to be pampered every once in a while. Get yourself a new book, a plant or a scented candle. Bake a cake. Binge watch a guilty pleasure. Don’t go to that party if you don’t want to. Treat yourself to a break.

💮Keep it tidy.

Stressed about a test? Feeling annoyed about something that happened at work? Calm down by tidying up: make your bed, organize your kitchen drawers, go through your closet, do the dishes if you haven’t already, the list goes on. Ask Marie Kondo, she’ll agree that tidying can have an endless amount of positive effects.

💮Don’t force yourself to like it.

If you don’t like Game of Thrones, don’t watch it. If you don’t like fanny packs, don’t wear them. If you don’t like yoga, don’t do it. Don’t let yourself be pulled into the mainstream or feel pressured to go against it. Own what you like and don’t spend time trying to be something that you’re not. Try not to romanticize an ideal version of you, who wears fanny packs, does yoga and watches Game of Thrones. If that’s not you, that’s not you. At least pretend that you love yourself as is, and maybe you won’t need to pretend no more one day.

💮: White flower. An emoji symbol of a white flower, often a cherry blossom.

The Apple artwork contains Japanese text on the inside that translates to mean “Well Done” or “You did very well”. This is used by teachers in Japan as a stamp on school work that is of a high standard, often accompanied by a score written in red.

https://emojipedia.org/white-flower/